Worst Kept Secrets

Ok, so Benji left me a comment, which brought back memories of a happier, more productive bloggy existence, and in answering it, I had to look up the author of Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers (Mary Roach). It’s a great book if you’re interested in such things, and I’ve been happily passing along stories of plastic surgeons practicing on severed heads, monkey head transplants, and the Crucifixion Experiments ever since I read it. I glanced at the amazon.com description of it, and saw the word “China.” And then “cannibalism.” And then “dumplings.” I did NOT remember that chapter, and it  reminded me instantly of a conversation I’d had with a Chinese friend who is hopefully rocking it with his band in Singapore even as I type. He told us that dumpling vendors had been arrested for having an arrangement with the local crematorium that pretty much resulted in a “JIAOZI IS PEOPLE!!” situation. Now, I don’t mean this as criticism of my highly esteemed friend, but I’m still not convinced about this story. I was trying to find out about that particular news item, but wound up getting sucked into all this Chinese-people-eat-babies hysteria. [Also, if anyone has a copy of Stiff, could you tell me what she found out about it? I seriously have NO memory of it, which is weird, because I thought I memorized that book]

First of all, Chinese people don’t eat babies. In Guangdong, they eat damned near anything, but it’s entirely unfair to relate Guangdong’s tendency to eat things we don’t eat in western countries to EATING BABIES. Ok, Guangdong diners get adventurous in ways that can be a little difficult for westerners to (literally) swallow. Guangdong cuisine is famous for its snake dishes, the granddaddy of them all being “Dragon and Tiger Locked in Combat,” which is made of cobras, wildcats, and at least twenty spices (source). “Drunken shrimp” also hail from this region (shrimp served while still alive and asphyxiating in liquor). Besides the snakes, monkeys, and cats, a lot of feet get thrown into the mix, along with organs, heads, etc. Now, I don’t condone the practice of cat roundups (strays and pets alike), but I also don’t condone the frequent foreign practice of viewing Chinese cuisine as evidence of a savage, uncivilized people because of their choice of meat. I really do believe that if you eat bacon, you’re just as amoral as people who eat dogs (I eat bacon), and while I probably wouldn’t go out of my way to select relatives of my domestic companions from the menu, I don’t think I have the right to condemn an entire culture simply because it’s chosen a different set of ideas about appropriate meats. Besides, tell me that this doesn’t sound tasty:

“Roasted snake with chrysanthemum blooms” is provided in autumn; the dish is creamy in color and garnished with beautiful petals of chrysanthemum, mushrooms, and various flavorings.  source

The location of the baby-eating ranged from Hong Kong to Taiwan to Guangdong, but I really got the impression that some writers were making the assumption that because of articles like this (warning: content is hard on animal lovers), it was perfectly reasonable to believe the Chinese capable of eating fetuses (I also saw a connection between eating placenta and eating fetuses, which is also highly unfair). Now, this is not to say that pretty much everything in that Shanghai Star article isn’t grounds for badly needed animal rights reform, along with shark fin soup, but you can’t turn around and use that as a basis for cannibalism. Here’s an article reprinted on Weird Asian News that I felt was making this totally xenophobic connection and then went into an attack on communism (”COMMIES EAT BABIES!!”). Just to warn you, there’s a really graphic youtube clip at the bottom that involves a dead baby.

And this absolutely infuriated me (there are pictures of a man eating what appears to be a dead baby at the bottom, just so you know). The excerpt (?) from the Eastern Express article was the one that started the whole thing in 1995. Really, “eating babies” plus “internet” is an infallible formula for a widespread rumor, and I couldn’t help but wonder whether or not the whole thing was written as a pro-life propaganda piece, with little basis in fact. The second article on the previously linked website makes it abundantly clear, and even ends with a completely xenophobic prayer for the Chinese, who know not what they do. Look, eating snakes and cats is not the same as eating fetuses. Snopes cleared the whole thing up nicely, and informed me about Zhu Yu, who presented an installment piece called “Eating People,” which provided the email attachments that later solidified the internet rumor that Chinese people were eating babies. So a thank you to rotten.com and the fact that we’re all woefully ignorant of Chinese modern art.

As far as the rumor on my side of the Pacific goes, I’m feeling more like the culprit is Dumplings (2004), a Chinese horror movie about a woman eating fetuses to stay young. I’m wondering if the Zhu Yu email scandal had anything to do with the film’s conception (and I’m also wondering where I can find a copy).

So, my final judgment: I do not believe that the Chinese intentionally eat human fetuses for health/cosmetic purposes. I’m also not sure about the dumplings sellers and the crematorium. I think, for some reason, people just want to believe that somewhere, someone is eating babies. Seriously, there’s a term for it - blood libel. But in-house, it seems like everybody’s got a weird fascination with fringe cannibalism (the dumplings rumor, Sweeney Todd, Soylent Green, etc.). And I feel reasonably assured that I can eat jiaozi without having to worry about it.